Bathtub manufacturer Alonzo P. Goodhue, socially and politically the best horseshoe pitcher in Topeka, Kansas, is appointed U.S. Ambassador to Russia, largely through the manueverings of his ambitious wife. An envious J. H. Brody, publisher of the Paris and Chicago World-Tribune, orders his best correspondent, Buckley Thomas, to see that Goodhue is disgraced and recalled. As it turns out, the unassuming Goodhue is himself anxious to be shipped home, and so he and Thomas join forces. Goodhue delivers an antagonistic speech, kicks the German Ambassador in the belly, and atttempts to assassinate a Prince — and in each case he is proclaimed a hero. Finally, Thomas, realizing that only good deeds go unrewarded, has Goodhue deliver an optimistic speech expressing hope for a unified world. Goodhue is promptly recalled. Other characters include Colette, Thomas' old flame, and Dolly, an incorrigible flirt.
Principals
(3 female; 2 male)
Mrs. Goodhue, a middle-aged woman
Colette, a young and pretty newspaper woman
Dolly Winslow, a young attractive night club singer
Buckley Joyce Thomas, a fast-talking newspaperman
Alonzo P. Goodhue, a short middle-aged man
Supporting Singer/Dancers
Mrs. Goodhue's Daughters: five girls, from age 16 up; specialty dancers
Secretaries to Mr. Goodhue: all young men; specialty dancers
Others
First Secretary, a young girl
Second Secretary, a young girl
First Reporter, a young man
Second Reporter, a young man
J. H. Brody, a tall, middle-aged distinguished poop
Jerry Grainger, a young diplomat
Prince Alexander Tomofsky, a middle-aged man; should be Russian, must be able to speak English
French Conductor, a middle-aged man with accent
Reporter, a young man
Photographer, a middle-aged man
Chauffeur, a young American chauffeur
Kostya, a Russian interpreter and must be able to speak Russian and good English
Military Attache, a young man
Naval Attache, a young man
Secretaries, two young men
Decorators, two young men
Peasant, a heavy set middle-aged Russian and must be able to speak English
Sosanoff, a worker, a Russian Communistic type, and must be able to speak good English
Waiters, two young men
German Ambassador, a large, heavy-set man with German accent
French Ambassador, a distinguished looking man about forty-five, wearing a Van dyke, and with accent
Litvian Minister, a large heavy-set man, middle-aged and with accent
Italian Ambassador, a rather distinguished looking man of thirty-five and with accent
British Ambassador, an elderly looking Englishman
Mackenzie, a young looking Englishman
Graustein, a middle-aged Russian with accent and must be able to speak good English
Folkin, another Russian about the same as Graustein. Doesn't have to speak lines
Secretary to Foreign Minister, a young man, no speaking lines
Foreign Minister, a tall, very distinguished middle-aged Russian and must be able to speak good English
Stalin, to be made up as an exact replica
Yogi Ambassador